The Ellipsis…

It’s 3 little dots, the term comes from the Greek word “omission”. It meas that something was left out. I’ve lived those three little dots, one for each year of my life that I was voluntarily absent. It’s all the things that happened between injury and recovery.

In 2014 I injured my shoulder… In 2017 I came back to life, and only by coming back was I able to recognize that I had been gone. I spent those three years in physical and emotional pain. Using whatever I could get my hands on to numb one or both. Even today, I’m not sure about everything that went on during that time. The specifics of the when’s and why’s remain lost to me. I’m sure I hurt people and I allowed others to hurt me. They were dark days.

But they were the ellipsis, the part that is hard to understand when taken out of context. We all have some aspect of our lives that is like that, events we would like to leave out. The end of this ellipsis however signaled something much more important than just a resumption of the story. It signaled a completely new narrative, from a person who had shaken off the dust from living on hold for too long.

I had taken prescription pain medication multiple times in my life, but it wasn’t until my injury that I had a consistent supply of legal over the counter opioids. My pain felt physical and constant. I didn’t like it and continued to take the pain pills, as much as I was allowed, because I surely didn’t want to ever run out and have to wait between refills. My mind became set on a steady state of numb and I became depressed so I got a pill for that. I had trouble sleeping at night (because I slept during the day) and got a pill for that. It’s no wonder those years were a blur. Until the day I ran out.

I still count myself as so extremely lucky that I didn’t have withdrawal symptoms from coming off of all that medicine at once. It says on the label that you shouldn’t quit cold turkey, on all of them, but I did. It was a short matter of time afterwards that the ellipsis ended and the story took up again.

I don’t remember what day it was when I realized that I had been missing out on simple things. The whole world looked new again. I was seeing colors I had forgotten existed. Smiling was easier. I wanted to get up, I wanted to be happy. I wanted! Complacency was no longer acceptable. I became hungry for knowledge on how to be better. I learned so much about facilitating healing, pain management without medication, and self empowerment. I have been able to implement this in my life and witness the powerful changes that are occurring.

…This is just the beginning.

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